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:usaflag: Stories by mudpuppy.........
Posted by: Wayne in BC
Date: January 16, 2011 11:18AM
Thank you mudpuppy!



A liar will assume you are lying

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Impulsive Throwing Syndrome
Posted by: mudpuppy
Date: January 15, 2011 12:22PM
Since the dawn of Man people have been impulsively throwing things at targets of opportunity. Luckily, not all people suffer from ITS, and proper diagnosis is difficult, but the tell tale signals of this disorder are the throwers lack of foresight into the ramifications of actually hitting the target, a complete disregard for the outcome, and an utter loss for what made them attempt such a throw in the first place.

When my daughter was about eight years old, she played with the neighbor kids down the street. We lived in an old farm house, and at the back of the property approximately forty yards from the street, grew an ancient, worm infested, mean little Granny Smith apple tree. In the department of arm propelled projectiles, nothing comes close to a well balanced apple! The Granny Smith being one of the best! Slightly smaller than a Golden Delicious, a Granny Smith or a Winesap can give an experienced thrower an object that can be tossed with great velocity on short range throws, but lacks the ballistic coefficient necessary for longer tosses. Thats why I never thought of the ramifications, and dont know what made me attempt the following toss, hereby qualifying me as a sufferer of ITS...

Evening approached on that fine late summer Michigan day, heralding the commencement of a wonderful evening with peace and happiness and dinner with the family. As per instructions given to me by the wife, I went outside and rang the big steel triangle to summon the daughter home. As I awaited the arrival of my precious little girl, I sauntered out back to the apple tree, to maybe toss a few half rotten apples up against a fence post, just to watch them explode. The arm now sufficienty warmed up, I ventured a look for some target of opportunity that would present a more of a challenge, and thats when it happened.

Down the street came pedalling my little darling, singing a blissful little tune as she rode her little huffy home, completely ignorant of my whereabouts. I quickly picked up an apple, and without thinking, judged distance, target speed, windage, processed the data, and gave that apple a mighty heave! Immediately I could tell it was a good throw, it looked like it might splash down right in front of her and explode in the street! As the distance closed between target and projectile, it was looking like that one in a million shot and WHAM! Right on the front of her little darling forehead the apple crashed home, and rent itself asunder, in a massive explosion of pulp, juice, and some very surprised worms!

She shrieked the cry of a person caught by surprise by a unknown assailant, like when a spider is detected, or a snake takes a person unawares, thankfully retaining control or her bicycle, rode into the yard, and ran into the house crying and screaming to the wife, "Dad threw an apple at me and hit me right in the h-h-headdddd!" Out into the yard marches my wife, and yelled at me, "Dammit John! You go in there right now and apologize!" As I entered the house, my daughter was curled up in her bed, still heaving little sobs, sucking her thumb, and curled up in a fetal position. I sat down next to her and said, "there. there, dont cry, I'm sorry, are you ok?" She let out a hurrumph and a snort as one does when more offended than hurt. So I said, "how did you know it was me who threw the apple?" She replied, "cause you are the only one around here that would do such a thing" Then I queried, "how did you know it was an apple?" she retorted in an angry little voice, "cause I smelled the juice running down my face!"

My girls know that I am not to be trusted unattended in the fruit aisle at the grocery store, and try as I might, I cant seem to beat this Impulsive Throwing Syndrome, Oh, I'm getting better with age, my throws are shorter, and lack a little of the "steam" they had as a youth, but I still pick up rocks or other tossable objects when taking an evening stroll with the wife, just in case a target of opportunity presents itself.



Nasty words, and suggestive post.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/15/2011 12:34PM by mudpuppy.

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I can just picture that Mudpuppy!!!
Posted by: Mikie
Date: January 15, 2011 01:05PM
And I bet your guilty feeling was pretty much all encompassing..... and you had to work hard to regain her favour!! :):

calm seas

Micheal



"There's no present like the time"

"A dog is better than me, for she has love and does not judge"

"Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most; That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in"


Re: Impulsive Throwing Syndrome
Posted by: Cupajo
Date: January 15, 2011 01:59PM
Historically ITS'ers have been known to throw things at a quietly buzzing hornets nest, or at sleeping dawgs of the huge and ferocious variety and even at two legged creatures that they were positive they could have out-run if they hadn't been so angry! :yikes:

The survivors usually learned to keep said urge in check there-after!!:biggrin:

CJ

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Re: Impulsive Throwing Syndrome
Posted by: mudpuppy
Date: January 15, 2011 02:05PM
HaHa! Right! Historically speaking, King David had a notorious case of ITS...throwing rocks at giant Philistines, or pitching woo at another guys wife, never thinking about the consequences!



Nasty words, and suggestive post.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/15/2011 02:05PM by mudpuppy.

Hsahahahahah Well done!! You mean old daddy you :DN/T
Posted by: Royal
Date: January 15, 2011 03:43PM

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http://royalottmar.blogspot.com/
INCREDIMAIL TECH SUPPORT SUCKS. IT IS TERRIBLE AND DO NOT SIGN UP FOR INCREDIMAIL!!

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Re: Impulsive Throwing Syndrome :thumbup:N/T
Posted by: Bayrat76
Date: January 16, 2011 02:40AM

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BAYRAT76

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:usaflag:Tuta's Watika
Posted by: mudpuppy
Date: December 24, 2010 06:56AM
Nobody has aspirations of ever becoming a grave digger, you just sort of fall into it! Ha! Here's how it happened to me.

Out of all the tools I have known and used, Tuta's watika is the one that has made me the most money, has never let me down, and is considered a working member of our Families heritage.

Tuta was my Wife's Grandfather, a great big Pole who emigrated here to work the coal mines in Pennsylvania in the late 1800's. Long dead before I came on the scene, one thing he left behind was a simple heavy mattock. A common design, and still available in the digging tool section at most hardware stores, it resembles the traditional miners pick, except both blades are flat, one is like a narrow axe blade, the other like a heavy hoe. Whenever some heavy digging/demolition is needed to be done, Tuta's waticka is employed. Originally designed to dig and chop roots, it can be used as a sledgehammer, pry bar, axe, really shines when it comes to popping concrete form boards pinned in the ground after the footers are poured. It is the main part of my excavating equipment arsenal.

The Wife has a special attachment to this humble piece, and has impressed upon me the need to take special care and respect for it, the memories of her Grandfather come rushing back whenever Tuta's waticka is employed. I swear, she will come up with jobs for me to do just so she can say "go get Tuta's waticka, and move that tree over there". Its gotten to be a little joke between us whenever I have to do anything remotely heavy or strenuous, "I'll be fine, I've got Tuta's waticka".

Moving dirt manually is a hard mindless task, the effort is unappreciated unless personally experienced. Efficient wheelbarrow operation for example has very little to do with strength, its a symphony of balance, endurance, and weight distribution. The same with digging, a properly tuned and balanced shovel makes a world of difference, leverage is the key here, a slight spring in the handle, and a smooth steady pace. I didn't know or have any appreciation in these regards until one day when a tosspot "friend" of mine pulled into the yard...

Dirk had been hanging around at the local tavern like usual, on that fine Spring day in northern Minnesota, when the local grave diggers stumbled in. They ordered double shots of whatever the cheapest rotgut was available, and shakily sat at the bar. Dirk, being an observant and considerate fellow, asked "Whats wrong with you two?" for it was obvious to all that something had mightily unhinged them. Seems that they were working on a hole, tossing the dirt off to one side like normal, when the weight of the spoils, compressed the earth, and spit the neighboring occupant from his peaceful repose into the hole with them! Since he was the only one wearing a suit, and obviously had seniority, three inhabitants in one hole was more than the two living reprobates could tolerate, and they decided to make a career change on the spot! Upon further query, Dirk learned that the going wage for this specialty was 100.00 and that the local undertakers had a backlog of clients that had been kept on ice all winter, eagerly awaiting permanent slumber once the frost was out. Recognizing an opportunity, Dirk quickly capitalized on the situation, and was given the mantel of filling this need.

Dirk, being a man of little means, had no equipment to pursue his new career, but he knew who did, and that's where I come in....

Dirk pulled into the yard with great excitement, shouted "Quick, I needed your shovel, wheelbarrow, and Tuta's watika"!
As with anyone that has frequented my premises, Dirk had often seen and witnessed Tuta's watika being wielded in some sort of fashion. He quickly related the tale, and how he was going to make 100 dollars, but needed to borrow my equipment to fulfill this demand. Being gainfully unemployed at the time, with an enterpreneurially minded spirit, I negotiated a split as partners in this endeavor. The deal clincher was that Tuta's watika doesn't go anywhere without a family member present, and off we went.

It took us 8 hours to dig that first hole, I say "us" loosely, as Dirk promptly and conveniently threw out his back at the sod level. He sat down on a nearby headstone to supervise, and thusly ended his career....

Two years later, at a hole a week or more, I was one proficient excavator in matters of a memorial garden sort! Not even deep frost could stop me and Tuta's watika! Fifty two wheelbarrows full of earth need to be hauled off and dumped at the edge of the graveyard for each grave dug, dodging headstones! A persons mind wanders beyond the borders of rational thought and reason when the body is engaged in a physically demanding and repetitive task, tunes pop into play, like Tennessee Ernies "16 Ton". Amazing mental gymnastics, higher calculus, poetry, mysteries of the Universe pondered and unraveled when ones mind is in Neutral, and ones body in Drive. Surrounded by silent souls, in a peaceful and serene setting, witnesses all to the temporary excersize of Life, I toiled away, a welcome and recognized visitor to the spirits of the departed.

The wife knows that if she departs before me, Tuta and I WILL be digging her grave! She once thought this "morbid" but no, I HAVE to be the one, to work and think, to cry and remember, to move that soil, cutting that final rectangle in the earth for her, gently placing her there, and as I fulfill this last act together, our last project together, with my promises to her kept, and my duty done, Tuta's watika will be left there with her...



Nasty words, and suggestive post.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/16/2011 11:25AM by Wayne in BC.

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Looking very good Mudpuppy.. I an looking forward to the next part.. You do have a talent for writing. :clap:N/T
Posted by: Mikie
Date: December 24, 2010 07:46AM

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Re: Tuta's Watika
Posted by: Cupajo
Date: December 24, 2010 07:52AM
Well mudpuppy you're off to a good start!

Hope Ya don't leave us hangin too long.

One of my favorite diggers is a Grubbing Hoe, not too different from the tool you describe here.

These days back-hoes take care of the work I used to do by hand.

A Grave Digger Friend of mine mostly uses a small back-hoe in a Hartford area cemetery.

All the Best to You and Your Family for Christmas and the New Year,

CJ

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Re: Tuta's Watika
Posted by: mudpuppy
Date: December 24, 2010 08:49AM
Dirk pulled into the yard with great excitement, shouted "Quick, I neeed your shovel, wheelbarrow, and Tuta's watika"!
As with anyone that has frequented my premesis, Dirk had often seen and witnessed Tuta's watika being wielded in some sort of fashion. He quickly related the tale, and how he was going to make 100 dollars, but needed to borrow my equipment to fulfill this demand. Being gainfully unemployed at the time, with an enterpreneurially minded spirit, I negotiated a split as partners in this endeavor. The deal cincher was that Tuta's watika doesn't go anywhere without a family member present, and off we went.

It took us 8 hours to dig that first hole, I say "us" loosely, as Dirk promptly and conveniently threw out his back at the sod level. He sat down on a nearby headstone to supervise, and thusly ended his career....

Two years later, at a hole a week or more, I was one proficient excavator in matters of a memorial garden sort! Not even deep frost could stop me and Tuta's watika! Fifty two wheelbarrows full of earth need to be hauled off and dumped at the edge of the graveyard for each grave dug, dodging headstones! A persons mind wanders beyond the borders of rational thought and reason when the body is engaged in a physically demanding and repetitive task, tunes pop into play, like Tennessee Ernies "16 Ton". Amazing mental gymnastics, higher calculus, poetry, mysteries of the Universe pondered and unravelled when ones mind is in Neutral, and ones body in Drive. Surrounded by silent souls, in a peaceful and serene setting, witnesses all to the temporary excersize of Life, I toiled away, a welcome and recognized visitor to the spirits of the departed.

The wife knows that if she departs before me, Tuta and I WILL be digging her grave! She once thought this "morbid" but no, I HAVE to be the one, to work and think, to cry and remember, to move that soil, cutting that final rectangle in the earth for her, gently placing her there, and as I fulfill this last act together, our last project together, with my promises to her kept, and my duty done, Tuta's watika will be left there with her...



Nasty words, and suggestive post.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/24/2010 08:49AM by mudpuppy.

As Mike says, you have a talent with the writen word for sure
Posted by: Royal
Date: December 24, 2010 08:53AM
it is good to get some new blood in here. It might shake something new out of us old timers.

You are setting the bar rather high :D Thanks for taking us along



http://royalottmar.blogspot.com/

INCREDIMAIL TECH SUPPORT SUCKS. IT IS TERRIBLE AND DO NOT SIGN UP FOR INCREDIMAIL!!

higher calculus? I can not remember one time
Posted by: Royal
Date: December 24, 2010 09:36AM
That ever popped into my head:blink: I worked with a guy that dug graves. He said that some times he would have to bury Urns with ashes. He liked that because he said he got the same wage and dug it with a post hole digger.

I am not cut out for a shovel. Never have been and at this age, I never will.

Interesting story here John:thumbup:



http://royalottmar.blogspot.com/

INCREDIMAIL TECH SUPPORT SUCKS. IT IS TERRIBLE AND DO NOT SIGN UP FOR INCREDIMAIL!!

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Outstanding! Looking forward to the rest of the story! :clap:N/T
Posted by: Kelley (Texas)
Date: December 24, 2010 09:49AM

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Great story, you are one good writer of stories! :clap:N/T
Posted by: Kelley (Texas)
Date: December 24, 2010 09:54AM

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