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Stories by Lil Brother......
Posted by: Wayne in BC
Date: February 20, 2009 09:54PM
Thank you Tom!:smile:



A liar will assume you are lying

:usaflag:The two Little Pigs.......
Posted by: Lil Brother
Date: February 09, 2009 09:28PM
In my lifetime, I can probably say that I'll try anything,(almost), once. Well, when I bought this place nine years ago, I thought that I would try a little farming. So far the garden and the chicken raising has been okay so I got a wild hair to raise a pig. Shoot, it couldnt be THAT hard. I kept my eye on the local paper and finally I saw an ad that advertised piglets for $40. I called my brother to see if he wanted to ride with me to pick one up. For those of you who dont already know, that brother would be Arkie John.

We set out and in no time we were at the mans house."The pen is in the back forty" he replied. We all set out and before we knew it I had a nice little piglet in a cage in the back of my truck. I coulnt wait to get home and introduce him to his new home. Previously, I had been transforming an old chicken coop into a new fangled pig pen, equipped with reenforced walls. I had placed 4x4s strategically around the outside walls and in fact, had even built an insde wall inside his "house".

What I didnt realize was that baby pigs are kind of like real human babies. They require alot of care and time. Ihad decided before I bought Porkie that I would raise him not to be a fat azz, but to be a lean pig. After talking to my neighbor, it was decided that I had to feed him milk and bread twice a day. Now this might be a little more work than my chickens, but what the heck, it would be worth it when it came time to slaughter him. I could taste fresh sausage along with a couple of double yolkers and biscuits already.YUM!

Everything was fine except for one thing. After a week or two I had another hair-brained idea that Porkie needed a friend. After watching the paper I finally found one in Conway, Arkansas. I made the trip this time by myself and in no time Curly was in his new home. At first they didnt seem to like each other but after a few short days they were best friends,(except when it came time to eat.)

It didnt take very long for me to start getting tired of my new pets. Okay, they werent really pets, but Carol had names for most of our 70 chickens so I thought that names would be fitting for these two. Before work in the dark in the rain; whatever, the damn pigs had to eat and in order for them to be the pigs I wanted them to be, they ate twice a day seven days a week.

One day while I was at work, Carol called me and man was she frantic. "Porkie got out of the pen and I cant catch him" she yelled through the phone. I told her to do what she had to do; try to lure him back in the pen with a bucket of food, but that I couldnt leave work to come home and help her.As it turned out, Carol never caught him, but when I got home he went right back in the pen without hardly any trouble. Man was I ever lucky. I had envisioned him going down to Ms Wallis' house and rooting up her yard. As a matter of fact, he did a pretty good job around both of my chicken pens.

These dang pigs were growing and they were growing fast! I could hardly wait to kill both of them. I had to keep in mind that it was going to be worth it....wasnt it? We went through alot of 50 lb bags of pig grower,(they had long been off the milk and bread much to their dismay), and they were getting tall and starting to get just a little agressive. I would hve both of them slaughtered real soon with the help of Donnie. He after all is the one who got me started on this idea and besides that he told me that hed been doing this for years and that hed have both of them in the new freezer we bought in no time flat.

Over the next few weeks Donnie had been increasingly harder to get a hold of. I could see the writing on the wall now. I was the one who was going to have to kill and butcher these blessed hogs. I didnt want then to get much bigger and be tough. They werte already around 200 lbs a piece. Surely Donnie hadnt forgotten about me though. He PROMISED to help.

One day I got home from work to find that both of them had gotten out of their pen. It was late in the day, Carol was out of town, and it was getting dark fast. Itried everything under the sun to get them back in their pen. I didnt know it but they had broke down the wooden inside wall in their house and had pushed or leaned on the tin outside shell. Well, I coaxed Curly back in with some food, but Porkie was another story. He had already tasted freedom once and there was no way HE was going back in his cell! I chased him around the chicken pens until I was blue in the face. Man could he ever run for a 200lb pig! I finally grabbed the first thing I could to give me the edge in this race and it happened to be an old boat paddle. Iwas chasing him throught the front yard and right before I broke it over his back,(it was rotten), my cell phone rang. HUHUHUHUHELLOHUHUHU I gasp. On the other end was the sweet sound of my sister(Sunny), You sound like your about to have a heart attack she said. Why hell I might still have one if I dont catch this damn pig! HUHHUUHUHUHHHUH Man was I ever sucking some wind! Our conversation didnt last too long as darkness was approaching at a rapid pace.

I guess Sunny had felt so sorry for me that she called her oldest daughter and her husband who live just down the street. They came armed with flashlights and were ready to go hog hunting. I told Brad and Christi that I didnt know where they were but that I was done chasing pigs for the day. Besides that, it was probably25 degrees outside. I thanked them for coming and said goodbye to them.

Morning came early and there was two things I needed to do I needed to catch the pigs and I had to go to work. I did NOT need to leave both of them out to destroy my yard while I was at work.I walked out to get they morning paper and glanced down to the chicken pen. To my amazement, Porkie and Curly were both huddled together in carols flower bed with a heavy frost glistening off of their back.Hmmm, I had to make a decision and it didnt take long to do it. I grabbed the .22 caliber rifle from behind the door and set out behind the house.I would coax them behind the house, shoot them and would clean them when I got off from work. Today was one of my short days.

By the time I got to the flower bed, they were both up and going around the front ofthe house. Curly walked in the carport and started to chew on one of my camo-colred shirts that the wind had blown down.(All of us Garretts leave our hunting clothes hanging in the fresh air.) I yelled and both of them ran behind the house. JUst as I had planned it! I needed to hurry because I had to leave to get to work on time. Curly was first. I took careful aim a couple of inches above and right between the eyes. BAM! Curly SHOULD have went down like a ton of bricks, but instead, screeched out in mucho pain and ran around to where else? The front yard underneath the peach tree. I followed and placed another bullet where it counted. Curly was flopping on the ground and was bleeding profusely all the while Porkie was trying to find an acorn in the side yard. He was standing next to a pile of bricks that I had taken off of my house when I shot him between the eyes. He flopped so hard that he was on TOP of the pile of bricks when I turned to go back in the house. I grabbed my lunch box and coffee, got into my truck and drove off while both pigs were still flopping!

Donnie never showed, but fortunately I have a good brother that helped me skin both hogs. I butchered and packaged them for a day and a half.I am now proud to say........I am OUT OF THE PIG BUSINESS!!!

Thanks for reading this--maybe Carol will let me use her laptop again soon. I miss all you guys

Lil Brother



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/05/2009 09:55PM by Wayne in BC.

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What a great comeback Tom! :clapping: ............
Posted by: Wayne in BC
Date: February 09, 2009 10:09PM
sounds like my attempts at hog raising:rofl:
Glad to hear your still raising hell...and hogs:thumbup:



A liar will assume you are lying

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Great job Tom! Sure was fun..reading it that is!:rofl:N/T
Posted by: Ron J
Date: February 10, 2009 04:31AM

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Re: The two Little Pigs.......
Posted by: Cupajo
Date: February 10, 2009 05:07AM
Living in the country and raising pigs seemed to go together when I was growing up. My school Vo. Ag. project was a pair of Charolais (Sp.?) pigs that made lots of bacon.

The first thing I learned about raising animals to eat, especially if kids were involved, was to never give them names!

I was the big brother in my family and all those chores were my responsibility. Dad had someone butcher them for us "on shares" as I recall.

I got involved in one hog butchering, from the "sticking" of the 600lb. boar to the rendering of the fat in a huge old cast iron kettle over an open fire.

I'll skip the gory details, but I'll never forget them and given a choice, I'll buy my bacon thank you!

Thanks for the memories Friend,

Cupajo



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/10/2009 05:17AM by Cupajo.

what a pain:smile:
Posted by: david(tx)
Date: February 10, 2009 04:53PM
heck,raising chickens would be a pain to me.i see alot of folks let their roosters range,maybe the put them up at night.i was thinking just yesterday how spoiled we are as a nation,we get all our necessities without the mess.i'm not big on pork but i do enjoy bird meat:smile:.glad to see your doing alright tom.

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TOM!!!! Good to have yo back!! :thumbup: Pigs are okay to raise...
Posted by: Mikie
Date: February 10, 2009 06:12PM
What we used to keep them in was a whole buncha pallets!!! Tied them together, upright and made a pen of the appropriate size and let them go. The pallets will give when they have to, and the pigs cannot get under them. Pallets are free up here and whn you have to enlarge the pen, add a few more!!

Fair winds

Mikie



"There's no present like the time"

"A dog is better than me, for she has love and does not judge"

"Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most; That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in"


Thanks for taking the time to read Wayne--Good to hear from youN/T
Posted by: Lil Brother
Date: February 10, 2009 06:38PM

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Thanks for reading Ron My brother now tells me that he'll kill me if I ever get another one!N/T
Posted by: Lil Brother
Date: February 10, 2009 06:44PM

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:biggrin:Im sure glad that times have changed--I just skinned them like I do a deer. No scrapping hair, messing with the fat etc...Thanks for readingN/T
Posted by: Lil Brother
Date: February 10, 2009 06:49PM

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I'll tell you one thing David; raising chickens is ALOT easier than those darn pigs! Not nearly the hassle:biggrin:N/T
Posted by: Lil Brother
Date: February 10, 2009 06:54PM

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Good to hear from you Mike. I hope life is good to you and Alice as we speak. BY the way, I'm thinking of turning the pig pen into a pen for a couple of turkeys!:surrender:N/T
Posted by: Lil Brother
Date: February 10, 2009 06:58PM

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Great to hear from you Tom!
Posted by: Dan-MO
Date: February 10, 2009 08:57PM
For all the headaches you endured......those fresh pork chops are mighty fine eating! Welcome back and I hope you are well!

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Even though I knew this story, I LMAO when I read this story. Folks, my little brother was breathing so hard that
Posted by: Sunny
Date: February 11, 2009 05:28PM
I thought something was surely bad wrong. But then later, after he told me his story............I could relate, as I had my own pig story a few years back with my pig Wilbur. Tom was throughly frustrated, and there was no one else to help but me, and right now with all my health problems, I'm not worth much when it comes to helping someone do anything that takes energy or strength. But you would have to know Tom to picture the whole situation. Yes sir, it didn't take either one of us to realize we were not pig farmers, but I really enjoyed watching Wilbur grow up. Tom, ........it is so good to have you back on the forum!!! You need to get you another computer and join us again. Although I am not back full time yet, I can still come here and get laughs, love and joy.,,,,,,,,,,and we all need that on a daily basis. Love ya Lil Brother!!! :)

When I was up to my elbows in stinkin' azzed hogs...
Posted by: Arkie John
Date: February 12, 2009 11:50AM
...I looked over at Tom and said, "This proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am your true blood brother." He just grinned. I said that because I can assure you that I will N E V E R butcher another one of the silly thangs.

I just hope he never gets the idea to raise water buffaloes. :lol:

aj

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