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  1. W

    Out of the mouths of babes..............

    HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God...
  2. W

    Ever wonder why?????.........................

    When a woman wears a leather dress, A man's heart beats quicker, And his throat gets dry, He goes weak in the knees, And he begins to think irrationally. Ever wonder why? Because she smells like a new truck! :rofl:
  3. W

    It's a dog's life..........right Orlando? :devil:

    A young fella asks his dad if he can take the dog for a walk. His dad explains that "Susie" the dog can't go out right now because she's in heat. The boy scratches his head, not quite understanding what "in heat" meant. His dad, seeing his troubled son says, "go get Susie and I'll take care of...
  4. W

    Good thing I don't know any blondes..................:biggrin:

    Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl...
  5. W

    Suin.........................................:biggrin:

    Down south, A Gentleman called his attorney and asked, "Is it true theys suin them cigarette companies fer causin People to git cancer ?" "Yes sir, sure is true," responded the lawyer. "And now someone is suin them fast food restaurants Fer makin th em fat an cloggin their arteries with all...
  6. W

    The new international symbol for marriage.....................

    [attachment 79618 symbol.jpg] :cry:
  7. W

    Subject: The Bathtub Test.......good luck, Orlando. :crazy:

    The Bathtub Test During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a Patient should be institutionalized. 'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her...
  8. W

    Never thought of it this way. Interesting. :surrender:

    This is too true to be very funny The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of...
  9. W

    For dog lovers...................................:thumbup:

    A Dog's Purpose (from a 6-year-old) Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker and they were hoping for a miracle. I examined Belker and...
  10. W

    Canadians, once again, are in the news..............:razz:

    After having dug to a depth of 10 meters last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago. Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed...
  11. W

    Well, I'm up early. The house is quiet. I would like to take this time to wish everyone here a very Merry Christmas................

    and a healthy and happy new year. You folks are the best. Cheers, Bill and Carol Pitts
  12. W

    A few pics from the Bahama's.....(Now I can blackmail Carol) :cheers:

    [attachment 75853 Beerservice.jpg] This is what I'm talkin' about........service with a smile! :rofl: [attachment 75856 ladiesbeach.jpg] This is a shot of Carol, her mom and her mom's best friend. Great day had by all. [attachment 75857 Parrot.jpg] Had to do the tourist thing. The birds...
  13. W

    Made it back and brought a few pics with us.................this is the first one. :biggrin:

    [attachment 75583 Mikie.jpg] :rofl:
  14. W

    Sorry.......................:smile:

    The Bacon Tree Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden....... "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon I ahm sure of eet." "Si, Luis eet smells like...
  15. W

    Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmm.:biggrin:

    The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.' 'Mrs. Ward, please.' 'Speaking.' 'Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now...
  16. W

    Rare "Parrot Flower" form Thailand..................

    Beautiful flower for sure! [attachment 74572 parrot1.jpg] [attachment 74573 parrot2.jpg] [attachment 74574 parrot3.jpg]
  17. W

    Poor ol' fella...............................

    Orlando struggles to get up from the couch and then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behaviour asks, 'Where are you going?' Orlando replies, I'm going to the Doctor. She say,'Why, are you sick?' He say, Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff...
  18. W

    Canada's vision for the future.......................

    Although emissions are considered by many to be far worse on this new :blink: model. [attachment 74385 Taxiservice.jpg] The locals have lovingly named this poor shmuck. "Walk don't Run" after the Venture's hit song. :rofl:
  19. W

    A case of cause and effect :rofl:.......................

    Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why. A couple in Sweetwater, Texas , had a lot of Potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a...
  20. W

    The Great Bovine Slaughter of '64..........................

    I'm not sure how many of your were ever boy scouts. I'm not sure how many of you were ever drummed out of the scouts for fighting, but that's a tale for another day. At the ripe old age of 13, my step-brother Gary and I decided to go camping, as we had many times before, in the foot hills of...
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