Having been through 2 divorces Randy I know what you are going through. My first and my first love, a marriage of 18+ years and 2 children...I know how hard it is. Underlying problem is still the deceiver and the destroyer going about as a roaring lion seeking who he can destroy. My first marriage was one of love - and maybe being young - lust for her...not what God wanted but what I wanted. Sometimes don't work out the way we wanted... been there a lot lately. As I say with 2 divorces under my belt I am in no position to cast stones...I will cast prayers for you all.
I am sure it was God's will that you too got married and had wonderful children as a result. They are the gift of God to you and to Kathy.
I have been a child whose parents divorced before I was old enough to know why I was being raised by my grandfather and his invalid wife. Divorce is not God's will as others have said because He wants love to abound and families filled with children being happy. Doesn't always work out the way God wants...we have our own choices that we make that do not let God do what He wants. Man's choice is what He gave us...choose life or death, blessing or cursing, choose life is what God said. He gave us a free will and our will is not always His will. His ways are always higher than our ways, We cannot understand all that He knows or desires.
I remind myself of Adam and Eve....God brought Adam a helpmate...Eve. God could have created more than one woman and then said Adam go find one that pleases your eyes, makes you feel young, makes your heart soar when you are close to her and hurt when you are away from her. God did not do that...would Adam have made the right choice that God wanted if that were the case? God made what He knew was best for Adam....a part of himself...a part of Himself as He breathed life into her. Brought together by God. How many marriages were never brought together by God? How many wound up in divorce court? I have no answer to that but something to think about. My second wife...10 years younger than me...bad move on my part...what I wanted not what God wanted. He didn't bring us together. Sherry and I, He did bring together and we have had some rough times in many ways...some you are aware of...yet together we fight side by side. In your case, it is impossible to fight side by side when one is not at your side or even on your side. The deceiver has pulled her to his side. Pray that she will come back to the side that honors and follows God.
Something else to think about even with Eve being God's best choice for Adam, things went south. Why? Eve listened to the deceiver, the liar, the serpent and as a roaring lion came to kill and destroy. It was the choice of Eve and Adam being 'with her' making a wrong choice made the most desirable place in the world...the garden of Eden and with God into a place without God in their lives and life became very very hard for them. The destroyer, the deceiver, the liar has taken hold of Kathy's heart, if all is as you say. Not saying who is right or wrong since I am not in your shoes or there to know first hand. From what you have said this is the way I see what is going on in a spiritual eye. Always be sure to let the children know it isn't God's fault. He loves them dearly. Let them know you love them and you love them dearly. Let them know their Mom is always going to be their Mom and she loves them (even if she is not seeing things clearly) she still loves them. Keep God in your hearts and in your house.
My heart goes out to the whole family. I will continue to pray for you all Randy, Kathy and the children as well. I love ya Brother and it is hard but we need to seek God. Don't let the deceiver pull you and the children to his side. Stay on the winning side...and Jesus IS going to win...He already did when He was raised from the dead and is alive.
"God, in Jesus precious name, I pray You will comfort and strengthen Randy, the children and Kathy's hearts and minds so they see Your Truth in all this and You will guide them to do that which is right. Help them all, they need You now more than ever before. Defeat the deceiver, shine light into the darkness of the heart of those walking in darkness. Open their eyes to see the spiritual side of what is going on. Let Your Word speak to the hearts and minds of everyone. You, Father, are in a better position than anyone upon this earth to decide what is best for Randy, Kathy and the children....I pray that whatever You decide is best for them will happen. You know the past, the present and future. You know what is best. You know everyone's heart, You know what will be...May your Will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. Forgive us of our trespasses as we forgive others who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Yours IS the power, and the glory and honor forever and ever. Amen and Amen."
Ma Betty