Dave~UT
Active member
Posted to Craig's List
Personals:
To
the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)
Reply to: pers-982078099@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-01-06,
3:43AM EST
I was the white guy
with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you
pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's
purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to
apologize.
I didn't expect you to
crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was
wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.
You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for
Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening.
Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head,
isn't it?
I know it probably
wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that
brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you
also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't
have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I
took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in
your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas
on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van
Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet
itself in a dumpster.
I called a bunch of
phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to
know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone
for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope
they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some
threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.
So, about your
pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted
mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed
your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the
detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or
powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you
walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path
in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me
and we'll do lunch and laundry.
Peace!
Personals:
To
the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)
Reply to: pers-982078099@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-01-06,
3:43AM EST
I was the white guy
with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you
pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's
purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to
apologize.
I didn't expect you to
crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was
wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.
You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for
Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening.
Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head,
isn't it?
I know it probably
wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that
brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you
also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't
have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I
took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in
your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas
on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van
Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet
itself in a dumpster.
I called a bunch of
phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to
know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone
for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope
they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some
threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.
So, about your
pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted
mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed
your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the
detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or
powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you
walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path
in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me
and we'll do lunch and laundry.
Peace!