My sister-The financial sharks are circling her-she's totally clueless...

[warthog]

I went and seen her today,and I wish I wouldnt have,cause its TOTALLY irritating so see what she's going thru,and all she says is "Oh,Well"when talkin about her whole families' financial $%^& pile they are in.She told me her oldest son lost one of 2 homes he had-Paid almost 6 figures for it,I guess-The bank sold it ,according to her;for $19,000-Whether he's lying to her or not,who knows??So,she asked me who's responsible for the rest that's owed?-she said its"considerably more" than 19,000-I told her "Who else than the person that signed for the mortgage?"she said"YOU MEAN MY SON IS???"Not only that,she got a 2nd mortgage on her own house-IN HER NAME-$83,000.00-so he could buy a 2nd house,all the while knowing he already had the 1st home....now,he is losing his 2nd home,too...He has already had his new vehicle reposessed.....I asked her"WHY,WHYdidnt you have him-or WHY didnt all of you-file for bankruptcy BEFORE all this @#$% happened??(Her youngest son-he's 32,by the way-is in debt with credit cards into the 40 thousands,and his mother pays them,too-She said today
'he has a job,but wont be paid for 2-3 months,she says "OH WELL-He gives me $50 every now and again "....)to top it ALL off(YES,THERES MORE); she said she's gettin laid off from her job on January4th"for 2-3 months"...When I ask her why not this or why not that,her long-standing answer is"OH I DONT KNOW-I JUST DONT KNOW";I SHOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING,I GUESS,BUT I JUST DONT KNOW......Every time I go to her house,their oppressive situation they are in makes me feel like Im tryin to breathe thru a wet blanket....AND NOT A ONE OF THEM-SISTER,HER HUSBAND,2 SONS OR HER OLDEST SONS'WIFE-DONT SEEM TO GIVE A DAMN IN THE LEAST.Now for the icing on the cake-ALL of them are gonna be at my families Christmas Dinner this Sunday;and I am asking for prayers that I dont tell my sisters' smart-@#$ oldest son just what I think of him taking advantage of his mother's feeble-mindness,and puttin them all on a Titanic-instead of hittin an iceberg;this ones goin down down in SHARK-INFESTED (Creditors)water,and its floating on borrowed time....

 

[steve in so la]

theres anything you could say that would make a difference to them. They are just like that - fortunately different from you. We all have people in the families that are different from our way of thinking . My advice would be to not press the subject at the dinner party and have a good time.
At least you can make short snappy comments or comebacks that would satisfy you & be fun Steve in so az

 

[Pete in MI]

we aren't in their situation. Steve is probably right. They won't change no matter what you say. At this point it is too late for chewing butt. They are in too deep and they all know it and have no options...and what few options they had they refused to use them. I feel that its all going to lead her to a mental breakdown and be hospitalized...which may be good in that at least she will have a place to stay and the rest of those characters will be away from her so she can regain some sanity. I'm guessing the rest of the family will run away - literally - to avoid the courts demanding them to show up to make restitution on these outstanding bills.

It is a sad thing for sure Steve. Only thing to do is pray - not just for her - but for them all as we have to pray for them as well. As Jesus was not 'choosey' as to who to pray for or who to heal, etc. we cannot be choosey either. In fact, they probably need being freed of the bondage of sin so swallow hard, love em hard and pray hard.

I'm praying for all as well.

 

[Mike from MI "Iron Brigade"]

Prayers on the way!

 

[warthog]

n/t

 

[gvanvekoven]

Debt ruined my 20 year plus marriage about 3 years ago sir and it is absolutely not necessary that debt should bring people to this point - and I let it happen - I worked, she spent. I worked - she charged - I worked - she squandered - I worked she shopped. A never ending story. I have lived through the bounced checks, overdrafts, check advance loans, pawn shops, late fees, 28% credit cards, credit cards to pay credit cards, equity loans to pay credit cards and past due mortgage payments / utilities, etc. Every trick in the book (not the good book either). Once it gets this bad - its a very hard thing to pull yourself back out. If can be a joint venture, a man doing it, or a woman. In my case - it was my (X) wife. A man is supposed to LEAD, not sit on his hands and just let things happen like I did. I don't blame her - I blame myself. I have been through the bankruptcy deal - and the divorce deal - and the court deal. The man will take it in the shorts on these deals everytime I can tell you for sure. I lost everything except the one thing that can't be lost. That one thing is my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. If not for my personal relationship with our loving God and lord Jesus Christ - I would never had made it through the living hell of debt and 20+ year ruined relationship. But I am getting through it now - and so can your loved ones. Have you ever watched Dave Ramsey (he has a web site). He can really lay it out concerning irresponsible spending and use of credit. I got both my two young girls some of his CDs - and it's making a difference for them while they are young. I heard just last week the small country church that I was saved at has a for sale sign in front now (several states away from where I now live). The reason - you got it - too much DEBT. They took out "improvement" loans and got a bus - and then the congregation started to shrink - and then not enough money in the plate to cover expenses.....etc.....etc.... I was told services were always about money - and not about our lord. The more they preached "Money Money Money", the smaller the congregation became. Debt and credit are one of the best ways I can think of for the old (pardon my french) Bastard Satin to get a foot hold in a church or in a marriage. Once he gets his foot in the door - it's very hard to get it closed again. But - it CAN be done. Sometimes - the hard way. When you think things cant get any worse - well, they can. Sometimes the worse things are the only things that can put things back on track. The Lord will do what must be done. I certainly hope and pray your loved ones do not have to go through what I did - help if you can, but make sure they know - you worked just as hard if not harder than they do for the money you have. If they come to you for help - make sure they understand that little point before you "help" them out. It could be enough to shake them back to reality. Unfortunately - it usually won't. A little here and a little there - won't fix it. I don't use credit for anything now. Cash only. The way it should be. The way I always did things before I got married to a credit card freak. Some things - like a home, car or medical expenses - are unavoidable to a certain extent - but that's where inflation has brought us. I am not a preacher by any means - but I do know what the Bible has to say about debt - and it is not GOOD. I will be praying for you and yours. Check out Dave Ramsey - he is a Christian and is very open about that point on his shows and his Cd's. Some of what he has on his web site is free and can be watched if you have high speed.
Hang in there dude!