WaterHound , God is still working on you to come unto Him, for He never leaves nor forsakes us but we can and do oftentimes walk away from Him! By His Holy Spirit He is seeking you to come closer to Him and by your willingness and your crying from your heart, He is truly wanting you back with Him as His adopted Jew and Child of God! I don't think you found us by accident...God drew you to our CMD Forum for prayers and for encouragement for you to seek Him more and more; then back with Jesus in God's Kingdom you will hopefully and surely be!
The main thing is that you need to be baptized with His Holy Spirit to help us to read and interpret the truth of His Holy Word, the Bible and to be able to endure and overcome all things, for without the Baptism of His Holy Spirit it is very difficult to resist the Devil's temptations and stay on God's straight and narrow road leading to His glorious Kingdom which His true saints will inherit when we die our mortal death! When satan tempts us to sin again or to keep on sinning, God provides a way out of the temptation that we as Christians must take to not be bound by satan's chains of sin, again! By keeping our eyes upon Jesus and leaning on and trusting in Him always, we can endure and overcome the evilness and sins of the world, but each of us must have a made up mind that it is Jesus Whom we desire and want to love, follow and obey!
The road to Hell is much wider and broader and more easily to follow and many will enter there; but strait and narrow is the way that leads to eternal life to have Jesus' love now and forever more and few will enter in and be saved and blessed now and forever! Don't let the old lying devil fool you and cause your soul to be lost forever, as Jesus loved His human creations so much that He never wants anyone to perish, for that is why He suffered and died for you, me and every sinner! We are all born sinners by Adams corrupted seed of disobeying God and ate (tasted) the fruit from the forbidden tree...although Eve ate first, it is Adam who caused sin to enter the world and why they were cast out of Paradise and that is why all who don't believe in Jesus and accept Him as Savior and Lord will be cast into the Lake of Fire, because still having unforgiven sin they cannot enter heaven, for sin can never be in God's Holy Kingdom as darkness cannot be where Jesus' glorious light is and God cannot stand sin of any kind and even turned His back on His only begotten Son Jesus while He bore all our sins upon Himself for us, because in His purity of God coming in the flesh of mankind, He is God with us!
The only way to be saved and living for Jehovah God is to believe in and be obedient to Jesus by being true and stay in His glory as He shows us the way Home through His written Word! Jesus says, He is the truth, they way and life and no man who doesn't believe in Him will perish! I don't believe OCD and PTSD are sins as I believe these are diseases that affect the body, the same as depression and etc. But God can and will heal diseases but not for everybody and I guess it is that we don't believe nor have enough faith for ourselves, although I do have it for others and have had my prayers answered for them! Read REV 21: 7,8 and these are sins and if we continue in doing them, willingly, we will die in our sins! Also Jesus says do not fear but trust in Him, for those who love and trust Him need not fear, for His perfect love casts out all fear! Hallelujah! What a Savior we have! Amen!
You have stepped out of His Sheepfold but He wants you back and is going after you, like a little lost lamb, and as long as His Spirit is moving within you with a heart that can love as you listen to and hear His Spirit calling, Oh Come, lost sinner, as you are and be saved today, for today is the day of salvation and the next moment may be too late, for lost souls must repent before mortal death comes, for after death there is no more repentance for all sins and not another chance to be saved! Jesus love you and we love you, too! Cry out to God and ask Him to prove Himself to you and HE WILL, because He did it for me! Amen!

Ma