I was a very bashful boy. If I saw a girl coming down the sidewalk, I would cross to the other side. I could not help it and it was killing me.
I had a crush on a girl who was a year or two older than me, Sue Zimmerman was her name. She was a pretty blond girl and about the prettiest girl in the school.
I was about 10 or 11 at the time, I can not really remember but I sure remember the first time I worked up the nerve to speak to her. Dang, it was a turning point in my short life!!
She didn't know I existed as she was a grade or so ahead of me but that didn't make no never mind. I would watch for her walking to school, she had to walk right past my house and my young stupid heart would just get to hammering.
I had no idea what was making it happen, I certainly had no idea about sex or nothing but there was sure something about Sue that got my attention.
I had no idea how to start a conversation with a girl. I had no sisters and thought of a girl as something different, which I guess they are.
I had heard the big kids talking one time and one of them said that if you want to get a girls attention and make them like you, make them laugh. They love a feller that can make them laugh!!
I got to thinking about that and since I was always a bit of a joker, around boys that is, I figured I would use that approach. Now what to say.
Now days it is not a problem, I just talk and stuff comes out but back then I only knew boy jokes. Did girls tell jokes, I asked myself? What was funny to a girl?
Right next to the school was a Methodist Church and I knew she always cut between the Church and a little house behind it, on the way to school.
I decided it was time for me to make my move and I wanted it perfect. I got to school early and stood outside, watching for my lovely Sue to be coming behind the Church. She usually walked to school alone.
Here she came. I was as nervous as mouse in a cat house! I took a deep breath and started across the dang street. I will never forget that walk! She looked right through me!
I walked right up to her and said, "Hi, I'm Royal" She just smiled sweetly and said, Hi. Man she liked me and had been feeling the same urges I had, I was suddenly thinking.
I then thought it was the time for me to make her smile so I said, "Is your hair wet?" she looked at me sorta funny like and said, "No, why do you ask?
Now was the time to lay it on her. This always cracked them up!!
I then said, "What the hell do you piss through, a straw?"
Now I wanna tell you fellers something, that ain't now joke to be telling no sweetheart, I'm here to be telling you! Her pretty little eyes got all swolt up and she slapped the crap out of this young dang fool. She was really mad and beat the crap out of me. I did mention that I was a scrawny little kid back then, didn't I?
Man she chased me into the school and everyone was laughing. Guess they appreciated the joke more that she did, I didn't even think anyone else could hear it!!
I got away but I never, never again spoke a word to my first love, Sue Zimmerman.
I was more terrified of girls than ever after that. I didn't even date until I was nearing 17 and I alway made sure it was a little ole girl so she could not wup me.
Man I had not thought about that for many years but it sure influenced my early days..