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Don Rickles - "My Favorite Joke"

K

king-ghidorah

New member
It's not a joke so much as a true story. This was before I was married, and I've been married for 43 years, so that's a long time ago. I was in the lounge in the Sands hotel with this girl. I wanted to be a big hero with her, and she said,"Do you know Frank Sinatra?" He was at another table, so I said," 'Course I do!" She said,"Oh, my God, if I can only meet him." I said,"Relax,relax." And I got up, and I walked over and I said, "Frank, if you can come over to the table to just say hello, it'll help me with this girl. But don't come right away--give me a few minutes with her first.

He said,"OK,sure" So I went back and sat down with her and we had a drink, and the violins are playing in the lounge. Sure enough, Frank walked over after a few minutes and said,"Don,how are you?" And I got up and said,"Frank,not now. Can't you see I'm with somebody?"
 
I remember reading once that Frank was coming out of a nice restaurant in Detroit, I think it was and he was in his cups. He asked the doorman what the biggest tip he had ever gotten was. The doorman said 100 bucks. Frank smiled and handed the doorman 200 bucks. Nobody is gonna out do Frank Sinatra!!

Frank started walking off and turned and asked the doorman, "Who gave you the hundred buck tip?" You did said the doorman! :rofl:

I bet he could not wait until Sinatra came back!!
 
Royal said:
I remember reading once that Frank was coming out of a nice restaurant in Detroit, I think it was and he was in his cups. He asked the doorman what the biggest tip he had ever gotten was. The doorman said 100 bucks. Frank smiled and handed the doorman 200 bucks. Nobody is gonna out do Frank Sinatra!!

Frank started walking off and turned and asked the doorman, "Who gave you the hundred buck tip?" You did said the doorman! :rofl:

I bet he could not wait until Sinatra came back!!
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Nice story. I can picture Frank doing that too.
 
A rabbit broke out of the laboratory where he had been born and raised. As he scurried away, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking, for the first time in his life. "Wow," he thought. "This is great." It wasn't long before he came to a hedge. After squeezing under it, he saw a wonderful sight -- lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass.

"Hey," he called. "I'm a rabbit from the laboratory and I've just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?" "Yes, come and join us," they cried. Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. It tasted so good. "What else do you wild rabbits do?", he asked. "Well," one of them said. "You see that field there? It's got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them."

This he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful. Later, he asked them again, "What else do you do?" "You see that field there? It's got lettuce growing in it. We eat that as well."

The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later completely full. "Is there anything else you guys do?" he asked. One of the other rabbits came a bit closer to him and spoke softly. "There's one other thing you must try. You see those rabbits there," he said, pointing to the far corner of the field. "They're girls. We have sex with them. Go and try it."

Well, our friend spent the rest of the morning at this until, completely exhausted, he staggered back over to the guys.

"That was fantastic," he panted. "So are you going to live with us then?", one of them asked. "I'm sorry, I had a great time, but I can't." The wild rabbits all stared at him, a bit surprised. "Why? We thought you liked it here."

"I do," our friend replied. "But I must get back to the laboratory. I'm dying for a cigarette."
 
Wayne in BC said:
A rabbit broke out of the laboratory where he had been born and raised. As he scurried away, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking, for the first time in his life. "Wow," he /quote]


Heehee, that was a good one too.
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n/t
 
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