For those who believe in evolution, shouldn't man get smarter, if so can you explain...

[Pete in MI]

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DISORDER IN THE COURTS

Makes you wonder!


These are from a book called 'Disorder in the American Courts' and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
_______________________________________________ ____________________ __
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
forgot?
_________________________________________________ ____________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_____________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?!

WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
____________________ ____________________ _____________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
____________________ ____________________ _____________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: getting laid
____________________ ____________________ _____________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________ ____________________ _____________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________ ____________________ _____________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
____________________ ____________________ _____________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.
____________________ ____________________ _____________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________ ____________________ _____________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
_____________________________________________________________________


And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

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[Anonymous]

How did these lawyers ever pass a bar exam???.....Very funny, but you are right, the more people sin, the more the brain lacks common sense! Praise God for giving His own godly wisdom! Thank You, Jesus, for dying and rising again that we might be saved and living with You, eternally! Jesus is alive and He is alive forever more! The chances of our existing from evolution is NILL! We and the Universe are too perfectly made to be just by chance! Glory to God Who created all things by divine interention! God Bless! Betty

 

[Roscue2]

n/t

 

[Mike Chgo area]

n/t

 

[7centsworth]

Could have did without the language.

 

[Pete in MI]

Sorry. Just did a cut and paste and posted it before proofreading it all.

 

[7centsworth]

Apology accepted most of them are crazy funny.

 

[John316]

The smarter some people are, the dumber they get. Oxymoron I know.

Psalm 118:8
"Better to take refuge in the LORD than to put one's trust in mortals".

Frank

 

[DK]

If you get a chance, go to a trial and set through one. You would be surprised at what you will see and hear. Lawyers are in their own world. There are some out there, believe it or not, that are saved and do their best to serve God, and still do their job at trial. It is hard to set through trial and not laugh at some things, and not to get angry at others. Those were funny, but the language was not. At trial, you will hear all and see things that you will not agree with. A murder trial is the most difficult to set through, as many pictures and details are in depth. Also a crime involving a child rates right there. I am sure Randy Costner can attest to what it is like to have to set through trial.

Thanks for the post Pete.