I found a family's gold necklace for them, but no reward:(

[Merlin cadogan]

I am writting this because it has been bugging me for three weeks now!
I was searching the beach where I live with my surf master 2 three weekends ago. I was with my 2 kids, my dog and my friend and her 2 kids.
A lady came up to me and asked if I would look for her sons necklace that he had lost.
I was introduced to the unfortunate lad, and I asked him where he last had it.
We retraced his steps to a large bowl in the sand that he and his friends had been jumping in.
I search around the area for about 20 minutes, no signals anywhere! (the sand was really soft and deep as it had all just been blown up the beach in a massive storm from the area I was searching when the lady asked for help).

The lady was giving up hope and packing her families beach stuff up, but I wasn't ready to quit yet!!
I went right in to the bowl, and did an expanding circle search pattern, and up by the opposite side of the bowl I heard a clear signal! The son heard it to, and I dug my sand shovel in to the soft sand and rescanned the area. No signal!!
I shook out the sand in the scoop, and there in the s pop was a decent size 9k gold necklace and a solid 9k gold st. Christopher!
My daughter passed him the necklace and off the family shot!
The mum did say thanks, as she was leaving, but I felt a bit hard done by!
I had found their lost jewellery, but never really got properly thanked:- and no offer of a reward for my 30 minutes of searching.

I was help to help and it did feel good finding it for them, BUT,

Is there a protocol I should have followed before I searched for her? She approached me whilst I was hunting and asked for help, so I assumed she would offer me some sort of reward.
Anyone got any good ideas?
Has this happened to you?

 

[sgoss66]

Merlin --

Here are just my opinions...

Being willing to take your own time (or other resources) to help someone out is a very giving, kind thing. BUT -- before you do so, you have to either 1.) decide in your mind that your own knowledge that you did a "good" deed is all the reward you need (because it MAY be all you get), or 2.) that you are only willing to help if a reward will be given, in which case you need to negotiate that up front.

I am with you, I would think that doing such a deed for someone would most likely result in a very thankful, appreciative attitude -- whether you found the item, or not. Anyone who has much respect for others would appreciate just your time and effort, no matter the outcome. Then, should you find the item, I would think that most folks would be MOST appreciative, and offer you a reward -- either in the form of lots of praise and thankfulness, or perhaps even a little cash, buying you lunch, something like that. Me personally, I would generally be happy with just a sincere thank-you, and the knowledge that I did the "right" thing. Like you, I'd be a little hurt if someone just hastily took the item you found, and left after a quick, shallow "thanks." BUT -- I also realize that not everyone abides by the same value system, and some folks are frankly just rude, and self-absorbed. Nothing you can do about it; I'd be a bit upset, like you, but as you said, you still have the knowledge that you did a selfless thing.

Recently, I was at a park getting ready to hunt, and an older lady came rushing up to me asking "is that one of those machines that can find metal?" After telling her it was, she told me her son lost his silver necklace and silver pendant the night before, and that they were looking for it in the grass. I told her I'd be glad to help. I went over to talk to her son, and asked him where he thought he lost it -- and he proceeded to describe an area that was roughly the size of a football field! Realizing that this would be somewhat like searching for a needle in a haystack, I got started. Having only about two hours to hunt that day, I realized that it was likely that my entire hunting time would be taken up helping this guy and his mom try to find his necklace; sure enough, that was the case. One thing that I did not think of, was that I realized during the hunt, while bending down to check targets, that it was at least possible that they were thinking I had found the necklace and was planning to keep it! Of course, I would not have done that, but THEY didn't know that! Anyway, I kept hunting, and am glad to say that the story had a somewhat happy ending, in that about 15 minutes before I had to go, I located the silver pendant. The guy had to leave for a bit, but I gave it to his mother and she was SO appreciative. She thanked me effusively, told me it had sentimental value to her son, and asked "how she could repay me." I told her not to worry about it at all; I told her that I was happy to help, and that I was sorry I could not locate the necklace (strange that I found the pendant and not the necklace; I circled the area around the pendant's location, but with no luck). Anyway, she marked the location where I found the pendant, and said that she and her son would continue to search for the necklace. Don't know if they ever managed to find it.

Anyway, my long-winded point is that my only experience so far in helping someone find a lost item turned out the way most would expect -- a couple of nice, very appreciative folks who expressed their gratitude for my help, and recognized my efforts. I realize that this may not always be the way such a scenario might turn out, but I'd think this is typical; in your case, I'm sorry you ran into someone who seemed not to appreciate fully your time and effort (not to mention the fact that you were able to return their item to them).

So, from me to you -- THANK YOU, for doing a selfless deed, and hopefully, in some way, leaving a positive impression of detectorists in the minds of everyone involved.

Steve

 

[judy gold digger]

your some guy if you expect a reward. What were you going to tell her I'll only charge 100 DOLLARS if I find it. Ok last summer a young girl came up to me and said she lost here mother's weddind ring, like you I found it she started to cry and gave me a kiss and hug. THAT WAS MY REWARD. MAYBE THEY DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH MONEY.

 

[outdoors]

I would at least would liked a face to face thank you !!!

 

[john sullivan]

some people have been on the dole , they expect people to serve them with no thanks of any kind

 

[matthias]

Karma dude! It will come back to you many fold. You did a great deed and you will somehow be repaid. HH. Matt

 

[Big Boys Hobbies]

WOW!!

Good for you and your kindness!!

 

[Merlin cadogan]

Hi steve thanks for your comments, and your interesting story, I wonder how the pendant and necklace became separated? Weird!
When I was searching for their lost necklace I was worried that they might have thought I was going to keep it as well. Like you said manners cost nothing do they, but there we go. Hope you have good fortune in your hunting, all the best Merlin

 

[Merlin cadogan]

Thank you Matt

 

[dewcon4414]

Merlin ive returned 3 class rings this year..... got no face to face with any of them. Just a thank you from the 3 principals i sent the rings back to. Ive found 3 other rings for people on the beach spending several min. like you looking for their lost rings. 2 thanked me.... one even hugged me, but one..... well it left me feeling like it was expected. I never expect a reward ..... but i know what you felt. If you are on the beach..... expect a lot of questions and an occassional will you help me. People are people..... some just have the its all about me attitude..... about all you can do is ignore it and know you did the right thing. It was nice you daughter was there to see how the golden rule really works. Good job.

Dew

 

[diggingFx]

I found an old ladys wallet in a parking lot when vacationing in Colorado. Instead of turning it in to the store I decided to return it to her myself since it was full of cash and credit cards. About 45 minutes later when i left the store I saw her with an employee frantically searching the parking lot. I was happy to walk over and hand it to her. She thanked me and turned around immediately and walked away. I felt somewhat slighted. A week later back at a local gas station I dropped a wad of ones and a guy walked into the station behind me and asked if someone had dropped some money . I said yes thanks and walked to my truck and drove a way then realized what had just happened. Sometimes it just slips our minds ya see.?

 

[widebody]

[size=large]could be as simple as what you are. a pestamist ot optimist. i expect rude behavior from those in this world. it helps me see the good in people when they show it. it really contrast and stands out. i don't expect a reward but do expect the opportunity to turn it down showing my good thoughts in the process. it also is a chance to show others we in this hobby aren't nutty old farts or scrounging for coins or selfish . or at least not all of us.
as demonstrated in the story one needs headphones. so you know when you hit a target and nobody else knows.
sgoss66, i hope you explained how hard it is for machines to pick out a necklace. specially if its a differant alloy. i can see the pendant falling off and the kid walking a little farther before the necklace falls off. so a wider area would need to be searched.
Merlin, you did good and should have been treated much better but that is the way it is. not all know or practice the Golden Rule. keep up the practice.

HH[/size]

 

[Merlin cadogan]

-- moved topic --

 

[bob.oz]

Profiting off of other peoples misfortune is what we MDers do every day... Your finding an item some body lost,and in most instances have no idea when or were they lost it...If i am out detecting and i am approached by a person who lost an item,i will gladly look for it in the time that i have,or take their Phone # and in future hunts keep looking...You will make many choices in your MDing HOBBY, and many people will put there trust in you by telling you where they lost an item,in hopes you do return it to them if you find it....There trust is in your hands, a total stranger..put yourself in their shoes..They have a stranger with a machine capable of finding their most cherished possession ...you now know were it was lost,and could come back anytime to find it..remember its a HOBBY that has many types rewards that are not always found in the ground.HH bob.oz

 

[scubadetector]

ABSOLUTELY TRUE STORIES

I have been on Fox 2 News Detroit twice and in 5 different papers. I have got some rewards and I have been thanked many times. I have had NO rewards a lot of times. I will still return whatever I can.

It took me 2 years to track down a USAF pilot from 1947. He had died but his son with the same name was also a USAF pilot. Sent the ring my cost to North Carolina. No reward or thank you.

I sent a class ring to Pennsylvania, to a lady whose husband had died. Again absolutely nothing.

When my wife was dying, Hospice took care of her while I went to a pond to dig out a wedding set. Found both rings and was promised a reward cause I wasn't working, I was taking care of her, Absolutely NOTHING

I found a ring belonging to Mit Romney's nephew. He flew with his wife and 2 teenage sons from Park City Utah to Detroit, rented an SUV and came to my home, for his high school championship class ring. No reward. Told me he had no money!!!

The last one REALLY bothered me for a long time!! Still irks me but I laugh!!! If you know anything about Park City, Utah or the Romney's you should know why!!!


LOL BUT, I still find LOTS of gold and Karma I believe has a lot to do with it. I find a lot of class rings. Found one yesterday. Even if you don't get a reward, they mean more to the people that own them than the small amount of cash you will get for it, AND I feel good doing what I believe is the right thing.

I have a LOT of friends with detectors that believe in finders keepers. I don't judge them and hopefully they don't judge me. We ALL have our backgrounds and beliefs and I will stick with mine.

Good luck in your future hunts and only YOU can decide if you will help out again or not. BUT enjoy the hobby and feel good about ALL your decisions.

 

[Merlin cadogan]

Awesome!
Reading these stories is so much fun, and also a good way to learn lessons for life too. Many thanks for the replies, keep them coming..
Good luck,
Merlin

 

[RKW]

Is there a protocol I should have followed before I searched for her? She approached me whilst I was hunting and asked for help, so I assumed she would offer me some sort of reward.
Anyone got any good ideas?
Has this happened to you?

Look at it this way: you were a good ambassador for our hobby. Good on you!

 

[MikeLab]

One time my sister's husband asked me to help find a gold ring for a guy at work. It was over a ten mile drive out there. I said "for a case of beer." Okay. So I went out there and the guy showed me where he lost it. For some reason I said "No, it's over here." "No it isn't." he insisted. Anyway I went over to where I said and found it in about two minutes. He refused to pay me. So I drove back home a bit peeved. Later that day there was a case of beer at my door. I suspect my brother-in-law bought it.

Another story about a guy who spent three days looking for some cached silver coin, buckets of them. He finally found them and the guy said "See ya." I can't remember how much it was worth, but tens of thousands. I don't know what happened but I suspect he had to threaten some sort of legal action and the guy finally gave him $300.

 

[jkoaltrades]

i was hunting a park several years ago when a guy, with a buddy, came up and claimed that his wife had lost her ring in the sand a few weeks prior. i asked if he knew the area, and he claimed that he was unsure exactly, just somewhere on the sandy beach area. i searched for a several hours but found only pull tabs and some change. the guy had left while i was finishing loading up, so i told his buddy that i had no luck and he admitted to me that his friend doesn't really have a wife, and that he was just hoping i found one to give him:veryangry: look out for those who look to profit at your expense! best to not trust everyone:sad:

 

[JAN1]

If anyone comes up to me and asks to find something, I ask for exact details of the item, one man was quite surprised when I asked him then I told him that if I found another gold watch he may claim it as his own, he then gave me his e-mail address, up to now I have not found it.
I would not except a reward but would ask them to donate to the local Cornwall air ambulance or the R.N.L.I.
All items I have found I keep but if someone told me what they had lost I would look in my collection for them.