The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."
I'm a great gambler and I can prove it, says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks a moment and said, 'Okay, Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says 'It's a bet.'
Grandpa pops out his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Grandpa says 'I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and lightly bites his good eye.
Stunned, the auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He's nervous about it.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks, 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of you desk and pee into that wastebasket on the other side of your desk and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor twice burned, is cautious now, but looks carefully and decides there is no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands on one side of the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side of the desk, so he pretty much pee's all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa's own attorney moans and drops drops his head into his hands.
"Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney. This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'
Don't mess with old Grandpa's!
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."
I'm a great gambler and I can prove it, says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks a moment and said, 'Okay, Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says 'It's a bet.'
Grandpa pops out his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Grandpa says 'I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and lightly bites his good eye.
Stunned, the auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He's nervous about it.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks, 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of you desk and pee into that wastebasket on the other side of your desk and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor twice burned, is cautious now, but looks carefully and decides there is no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands on one side of the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side of the desk, so he pretty much pee's all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa's own attorney moans and drops drops his head into his hands.
"Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney. This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'
Don't mess with old Grandpa's!
